I'm not writing anymore.
So I ask myself, what is it I'm afraid of?
And the answer scares me.

I'm afraid of time. Too much. Not enough.
I'm afraid of not fulfilling expectations - my own or others'.
I'm afraid of people laughing at the things I say or do.
I'm afraid that someday, someone's going to see through my sarcasm and cynicism.
I'm afraid that the geek/freak/nerd nightmare is going to happen again.
I'm afraid of attempting to describe a thing of unimaginable beauty in my writing.
I'm afraid of being judged.
I'm afraid of not being good enough.
I'm afraid that the one time I'm confident is the time I'm going to fail.
I'm afraid of things I can't understand.
I'm afraid of waking up to find this has all been a dream.
I'm afraid of people and situations that show me what I could be.

I seem to be afraid of everything.
I refuse to do that to myself anymore.

Aaah!!! Lost Season 3 starts today!!!

I know anyone else in the whole wide world who cares about Lost has already watched the third series...but still!
Yayness!

Plus my exam tomorrow is English Language, and who studies for that?

* happyhappyhappy *

It's raining, I can't speak Double Dutch, I miss knowing everything about the people I'm talking to, people keep taking my crap advice, I have no idea what to to for my psych project, or my birthday, I really really hate thunder and lightning, why do I find it so hard to tell people stuff about me, dinner sucks, I'm in school uniform, I'm too curious for my own good, tomorrow's Sunday but still busy, where has my confidence gone?

I think my least favourite part of being a teenager is when you feel all angry and lonely and depressed for completely unimportant reasons.

Can only respond to the following with three words...no more, no less.

1. Where is your cell phone?: On the table.

2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend?: Don't have one

3. Your hair?: Black, wild, thick

4. Where is your father?: Watching TV here

6. Your favorite thing to do?: Be with friends

7. Your dream last night?: Was quite nice :)

8. Your favorite drink?: Lemon iced tea

9. Your dream car?: Something that's...cool!

10. The room you're in?: Living-dining thing

12. Your fears?: Failure ocean acting

14. Who did you hang out with last night?: Sister's Eeyore pillow

15. What you're not good at?: Most stuff, really

16. Muffins?: Never tased them?

17. One of your wish list items?: The brown dress

18. Where did you grow up?: Um, right here

19. The last thing you did?: Talked to friend

20. What are you wearing?: School uniform, sadly

No, I have no idea where 21 and 22 went off to. They were gone when I got here.

23. Your computer?: It's not mine :(

24. Your life: Is...my life.

25. Your mood?: Sad. No reason. 

26. Missing?: My old life

27. What are you thinking about right now?: My dancing platypuses

28. Your car?: Oh, yeah, right

29. Your work?: Don't have any??

30. Your summer?: Hot, but raining

31. Your relationship status?: I...um...nonexistent

32. Your favorite color(s): Black blue brown

33. When is the last time you laughed?: Today at school

34. Last time you cried?: An hour ago

35. School?: It's getting better

37. Body hair?: what about it?

38. Cereal?: OOOOH Rice Krispies

39. Children?: Cute but loud

40. Your neighbors?: Don't know them

TEN Things that Annoy Me.

1. I found The Dress (I think), and I didn't buy it.
2. I think I may be preventing myself from making new friends.
3. My cupboard's so messy I can't find anything in it, and there's no time to clean it.
4. I can't understand a word of my Sociology notes.
5. Cold and cough. Sniffle sniffle. 
6. Also lack of sleep due to family's cold and cough-ness.
7. Heroes is gone. Doctor Who is MIA.
8. Only six more episodes of House.
9. Exams ten days after I turn sixteen.
10. What am I going to do on my birthday?

WEGOT DOCTOR WHO!!!!!!!!!!

*dances in mad circle*

So I wasn't forgotten.
But I am extremely sleepy.
And I want...cake.